Friday, September 21, 2007

Thoughts on traffic

For all you chum-buckets driving in the left lane with your blinders on--the sign reads, "Slower Traffic Keep Right".
Get over.
This means you Mister Magoo!
I know you see me back there; I get over for people wanting to go faster than me. They'll draw the cops attention and I'll be able to slip by ticket-free.
Now move!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Knock-off of Esher

Some days I just don't have the rant in me. Some days I feel more like a bubble on the ocean. No control of direction, an ineffectual will that no one regards as closely as they do heirloom jewerly in a sunbeam.
Plato's allegory of the cave to our perception of the world of everyday is insightful, but hard to hold onto. When everyone around you is always and constantly talking about what you see as shadows and refuse to engage you at any deeper level, you are forced by survival skills to let go of your extra dimensional concerns. Existing in shadow is a comfortable place of possessions, knowables, and vicarious living (SUVs, high ceiling houses, reality TV, and 'our team' won the game). Accept these transparent offering for complacency and ignorance. Do not try to see through to the real reality.
Do not question; do not ask; do not wonder; do not want what we do not burden you with. Zero percent financing for six month and spend the rest of your life laboring in debt. Our respected leaders helping us spend the money we have yet to make. Children truly pay for the parents follies. Slavery is flourishing in a different guise…serf on, serf on.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

My Knock-off of The Scream

You know sometimes you just feel like screaming. Why did we develop consciousness if we don't get to use it to its full potential? No wonder why people believe in New Age crap like psychics. We have sent men to the moon, and yet some people don't turn on their lights on the highway and use their turn signals when it's raining. Not that they use their turn signals when it's not raining.
The things I’ve seen!
** I've seen a woman brushing her teeth and spitting in a zip-lock baggie zooming down the freeway at 70+. Here's to a fast break and cleaning your bronchial tubes! Minty!
** I've also see a guy Q-Tipping his ears on the freeway. Hear's to ya...what...what'd you say? Is that freedom rock? Well, turn it up man!
** And the most surprising to me (so far) was seeing the man with battery-powered nose hair trimmers up his nose a fair distance (more than a finger could go) and checking his progress in his rear-view mirror pass me at 75+ like it was nothing. Multi-tasking needs a new word! A sweet kiss on the rear end of the car in front of him and he could’ve given himself the lobotomy that he so sorely needs. No need to go through the eye socket anymore. Hell, that’s how the Egyptians removed the brains of a Pharaoh; a sharp thingie up the nose, scramble them up good and suck them out a nose hole. Presto! Wrap him up, I’ll take him home to the missus!

Cheese and Crackers, is everyone that wrapped up in themselves that obviously bad ideas can't get through? Plato’s Republic doesn’t have a chance; the Philosopher Kings would be watching football and clipping their toenails on the couch in no time.
All hail the self-aware ape! They can drive and text and smoke and flip me the bird all at the same time!
I’m going to go paint the wall…